I experienced sleepiness, weakness, hunger and bloat, symptoms of pregnancy. Honestly, I was ecstatic at the thought of possibly being pregnant and, of course, I was a little scared, too.
Before I started doing more research on living a plant-based pregnancy, I told myself to stop assuming. "I am not there yet; I don't know if I'm pregnant. I am going to wait a few more days until I get my period. In the meantime, I'm going to focus on what I can do right now. If I miss it, then I'll take home pregnancy test. If I am, I'll seek medical care right away and my life will drastically change."
One Saturday morning, Bret and I woke up finding ourselves having another "baby talk" in bed. This time it was much more serious. I realized that although Bret and I are not planning to have a baby soon, if the case was that we'd be expecting our little angel -- we will welcome, love and raise her/him to the best of our ability. I really feel Bret is with me 100% and know he will be the perfect father I envision my children having.
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| Bret and our nephew Anthony (7) holding "The Diary of a Wimpy Kid" |
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| Our nephew Xavier (6) holding his "Famous People of Mexico" book! |
Later that morning I asked him, "Do you think I'm thinking about a baby too much?"
"Yes," he told me.
"Honestly, what does your gut tell you? Wait, before you tell me though, I want you to know that I trust my gut more than yours-- I just want to know what you are thinking and feeling."
"Honestly, babe, I don't think you're pregnant and I am not worried. But if you are, we'll know what to do."
"Oh, okay, thanks for calming me down a little.... Well, we'll see," and I smiled.
I had lunch with my sister, Laura one afternoon and she also told me to wait a few more days before getting a pregnancy test, "Don't expect anything, just wait." As I said, I was excited at the though of having Mini-B' inside me, but I wasn't sure how I'd feel if the test came out negative. I wasn't exactly sure how I was feeling.
So I waited a few more days and sure enough, I got my period on time. With a smile I told Bret, "You're not a daddy yet, honey." I'll clarify that it's not that I was happy not being pregnant. I am just learning to take life situations as they come. Trying to live in the present and not expecting anything helps me not feel disappointed.
More than ever before I think about having a baby. I am not sure if it's because of my family's pressure (all of my siblings have kids and my parents tell me they want another grandchild), social pressures (of being a married woman in her 30's) or it's my biological clock ticking... Maybe it's all three.
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| Hanging out with my niece Sonia (5) |
Bret doesn't think about this much...He is an only child and is parents have never made a comment about us having babies; he is also not worried about his "biological clock". It doesn't bother me at all that Bret is pretty laid back on this issue. He's expressed to me the way he feels and what he wants before he start a family. I accept him for who he is because I know he accepts me they way I am, think and validates what I want. As I said, he have had the "baby talk" several times and I am certain that Bret will be an amazing father.
Taking care of myself is crucial; it's my lifestyle. I rest assured that when our angelita/o is sent to us -- at any time -- my body will be the healthiest, fittest, purest environment possible for her/him to grow in. (Oh, by the way, I will also breastfeed 100% of the time, for as long as possible. When our baby is ready to eat solids, we will start them off with green leafy vegetables! Check out this video of the cutest vegan 14 month-old baby ever!!! http://vimeo.com/52098927; Also read this post: http://sistahvegan.com/2012/10/24/spirulina-helps-me-poop-raising-my-babies-on-a-decolonizing-diet-inspired-by-queen-afua/.)
Meanwhile, Bret and I decided to focus on our marriage and be the best partners we can be. We aim to cultivate and nurture our relationship as much as possible. We both want to strengthen the foundation for the family we envision having one day. That day could be close or distant...Who knows, but I decide to live my life to the max today.
Love,
Bea
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