During that time something was happening inside me that lowered my energy and self-confidence. I was 135 lbs and although I was close to many of my girlfriends at the time, I felt lonely. I didn't feel like going out anymore. In fact, I clearly remember the last night I went out clubbing with he girls. I was sick of it. That night, I knew the party scene was no longer for me. What made me feel this way too, was the fact that the guy I had dated the previous summer--and whom I (thought) was in love with -- was not around anymore. I knew I had been living in a fantasy for many months, but I still had hopes that it would work it.
In January 2008, I would spend my Friday nights' in my undergrad statistics class and then studying at a coffee shop. I would come home afterwards to my house (I was living with my parents at the time) and just collapse and tell my mom how sad I was because I had not met the love of my life. Each morning, all day and even and at work I felt like the woman in "Just Another Day" (by Paul McCartney). Although my job as a health educator was rewarding, I was not able to share the joys of my connection with the Latino community with anyone.I just felt sad and alone.
I was tired of playing trial and error with the wrong guys. Thank God I never had crazy relationships that scarred me for life. But I was always looking foe more. I was always in the search of my dream man. In each of my previous relationships I always was the one to give the most. Yes, in the end of them I was the one who walked away with pride, knowing that I deserved more that what I got. My self-love grew more and more from each relationship.
Four years ago, on Sunday, February 10th, 2008, I created an account on OkCupid.com, an on-line dating website. I uploaded the my cutest pictures, described myself and who I was looking for. I answered questions (quizzes) and checked a few boxes that best described my preference in dating. I finished, then went to sleep.
By Monday evening I had an inbox full of messages from guys telling me how hot I looked and wanting to chat sometime. But there was one message, in particular, that did not sounds like the rest and it captivated me. It read: "You love the Beatles too? Where have you been all my life?" And that's it. I wrote back: "Where have you been all my life?!" When I looked at our friend match, it was in the 90's (out of 100%) - higher that ANY other guy on that website!
From the fist message, we began to get to know each other by using Beatles song lyrics. I felt that this way, only a true Beatle fan would understand me :) We never chatted because our times never matched, but by Friday of that week, we spoke on the phone and I feel in love with his voice....On Monday, February 18th, 2008 we had out first date and the rest is history.
Love,
Bea
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