Feeling the Roller Coaster of Life...

I've been out of it these past couple of days. I don't feel like myself. It's all gloomy outside, it's cold and it's raining, I'm walking around the house wearing a big old sweater...

Bret told me the other night, "Is everything alright? It seems like you are fighting--with yourself." After he said that I just busted out laughing because he knows me all too well! I love that he knows me!

Yes, it was true. I was fighting with myself. Over my left shoulder I had a little devil telling me "I am not getting work done fast enough, I have not worked out as hard as I should have, I am disorganized, I am a mess, etc..." and over my right shoulder I had a little angel telling me, "I am loveable and kind, I am patient with myself and others, it's okay to one thing at at time, don't listen to that evil devil saying all those bad things about me."

The reality is that all of the time I am listening to those voices in my head telling me good and bad things. Sometimes I just wanna go crazy! But most times I listen to the little angelic voice telling me I can do it and do things with passion, love and kindness.

I realize that I have the POWER to change. If I can see that I am messing up, I can also pick up myself and move in the right direction. I know I have the POWER and all I have to do is use it. I need to tackle each thing one at a time.


Sometimes, though, it's hard to remember that because in many ways I am the "all or noting" type of person. I guess I've always been that way. I can remember all these situations when I've had the "all or nothing" mentality. Bret and I have had conversations about the way I am and he tells me that it doesn't all have to be black or white--there are so many shades of grey in between and I need to learn how to see and appreciate them.

I try keep the idea of seeing those shades of grey in mind as often as possible. I do things little by little, a little at a time. It takes me a little linger to get things done. I used to think there was something wrong with me because often times I would compare myself to others. Now I accept that it takes me longer to do things whether they are physical or mental-- and that is perfectly fine. I am who I am.


Sometimes I wonder if it's just a story I've been telling myself all my life or if it's real. I think it's a little bit of both. I believe this story and so I find it to be an excuse as to why I take longer. I believe that it could be the way I was raised, my background and the few opportunities I grew up with.


But then I stop and think that it's a matter of will and choice. Everything that I have done in my life has been a choice. I've set goals, tackedled them and gotten them done. Yes, even it they took me alittle bit longer to accomplish, they got done.


These past couple of days (or maybe three or four) I have been a low poitn for me. I am in the roller coaster of my life and I need to enjoy the ride. In my mind it's rainign a little bit, but I have the power to create my own weather and make the right choices. The rain (outside) will literally stop and the sun will come out. I just have to keep trying. I have to keep going even when it's shady outdoors and inside my brain. In my heart I have all the passion, desire and determination to keep going.


For  the past couple of years I've worked on not being too hard on myself. I try to remember that each time I do negative self-talk. I stop, I take a deep breath and tel myself I love myself, then I start over. It's not as easy, but I try and try.

 
I am going to get out of this rut and I will move forward with my head up high.





Love,

Bea

My Weekend Set-Back Turned into a Comeback!

After a (Thanksgiving) weekend of sweet and salty indulgences and eating out I felt bloated on Saturday and Sunday :/ I took Sunday off to rest my body and did not have a green smoothie -- I was not feeling my best and was ready for Monday to get back to my routine!

Yesterday I started Phase 3 of the LiveFit Trainer! I'm on week 9! I walked to the L.A. Fitness on La Cienega Blvd. because the one by my house is closed for renovation until January 9th! The walk to the gym took me 40 minutes, wow! I got there pretty late in the day: 5pm. At that time, the gym is like a zoo! All the people get off work and hit the gym, so there's major people traffic, ugh.



Anyway, I worked on quads and calves (you can see my workout here) and it was a very tough workout! I thought I could do it and I did complete it, but it was tough! I think it was harder on me because it was later in he day and my energy levels were lower. My legs were jiggling by the end of my workout but it felt so good to have done my workout! My friend Jada gave me a ride back home so I didn't have to walk in the dark, plus, I was pooped and without energy.


Last night for dinner we had whole wheat pasta with a marinara sauce I made from scratch (Just sauteed onions, garlic, added 2 ripe chopped tomatoes, 1/3 cup vegetable broth and 1/4 cup tomato paste, mushrooms then blended together). I also had a large spinach salad, topped with veggies (carrots, tomatoes, artichoke hearts and olives), and roasted Brussels sprouts on the side. For dessert I had 1 candy aunt Leila brought me from Italy and a few almonds.

 

 

I was so tired last night I went to bed by 9:40pm, but it took me longer than usual to fall asleep. I think it may have been because I worked out later in the day and my body hadn't winded down. In the middle of the night I kept on waking up, I was restless. These symptoms are letting telling me that there is something going on!

What a difference of eating healthy and working out makes one day (yesterday) makes! This morning I woke up feeling energized! Weird (after not having slept that well)! I drank 3 cups of water with a few drops of ACV and stretched lightly. My body was not bloated anymore! I felt tight and toned and my skin felt healthy and was glowing. I guess I am not usually aware of what and how my skin feels in the early morning, but being self-aware was a great feeling!

It's interesting how once you adopt good habits your body reacts to unhealthy eating and inactivity. I was carrying too much water (because of the extra calories, fat water and sugar I had eaten) and therefore I felt heavier and bloated.

What I experienced this past weekend was just a small set-back that reminded me how awful I feel when I don't take good care of myself. After just one day back into my routine, my body now feels awesome and I am ready to continue this week! Four more weeks until I finish my fitness program! Here I go!


Love,

Bea

I Will Do More with Less from Here on Out!

After Halloween, the year practically goes by so fast! As soon as we realize we are in November; there's the veteran's day holiday and (tomorrow is) Thanksgiving! The holidays have begun! Next week we arrive to December and start looking towards the end of the year!

With so many festive foods cooking and baking at home, and parties at work I realize that there is so much that goes to waste. Not only is food wasted and thrown out, we use up so much paper, plastic, cans, bottles-- everything!

Although I consider myself an environmentalist--I recycle, reduce, reuse anything and everything I can; I don't eat animals; I support organizations and causes that protect the planet and it's resources--I realize that I could DO MORE! 

We were at my mentor's party one night and I grabbed a water bottle. (I rarely do that--I usually bring my own--but this time I didn't.) When I got home I realized that I could do something with the plastic bottle.... I ended up dumping the left-over water in a flower pot and re-used the bottle for my beauty potion :-P

I mixed 1 part apple cider vinegar and 3 parts water to make a toner to put on my face overnight.

I've also re-used 2 empty glass jars to keep my q-tips and cotton balls.

As of today, what Bret and I do each time we go out to dinner, we ask our server for only ONE glass of water. We tell him/her that we are fine sharing one glass of water because "we like to conserve it." (I don't tell them this--but by asking for just one, it'll be one less dirty glass, meaning less washing, thus, less water wasted :).

We also clarify that we want "no ice" (again, less water; besides I don't like to drink cold water) and "no straw". Each year, billions of straws are used up once and tossed in the U.S. and we no longer will contribute to the dependency on plastic. We always make sure to be very nice about our "special" requests :)

As we wrap up 2012, I begin to think that in 2013 I will be as green as I possibly can. It will take lots of courage from me to stand up and tell the whole world (in person) that:

• "I recycle that/those/these." ;-)
• "Oh, wait, don't throw it away! It can be recycled." :)
• "We can certainly re-use it! See?" B-)
• "We really don't need the extra package/ plastic bag/wrapper, etc." :-O
• "You ought to bring your own re-useable bag next time." ;-)
• "No worries, I brought my own utensils and napkin!" :D

I am beginning to realize that being the change I want to see in the world is just not enough. I want to help others become that change, too. I am committed to spreading the word to everyone I can that we should be more conscious of what we use, how much we consume and try to do more with less stuff.

I know I will get laughed at, get funny and odd looks, and maybe even angry looks-- but you know what? I can handle it. I can totally handle uncomfortable situations with a smile on my face.

This is the planet I live in and I want to leave it better that how I found it. My children and future generations deserve it.


Love,

Bea

Some Answers to Questions About My Research Journey in Health Disparities

I received an email earlier asking me about my progress....I thought I should share my reply:

Hi Mara,

Here are my answers:

1)      If you are in a graduate program and if so, what stage you are at

- I am in the final stages of completing my thesis for an M.S. in Health Science degree. I am taking this year to study to re-take the GRE, strengthen my writing skills, seek to publish my thesis, and next December (2013) I will be applying to doctoral programs in public health in California. 

2)      If you are working, what your current position is and if it relates to health, health disparities and/or research

-I am not currently working; I am focusing on finishing my thesis, right now. Once I'm done with that step I hope to find a research assistant position in public health and/or health disparities. For the past few months I've been contacting my networks and asked them if they know of any positions suited for me-- so far I've had no luck, but they are keeping me in mind.

3)      If you have presented or published anything since you ended your RIMI Health Scholar tenure

-Yes, I presented a poster at the 2012 Latino Health Disparities Conference in April. The poster featured a qualitative analysis on focus group findings of Latina mothers with children ages 2-10.

4)      Anything else you would like to share

-I am deeply thankful to the RIMI project for investing in me! Had it not been for this (my participation in conferences, trainings, etc.) I would probably be struggling right now to find my path in health disparities research or perhaps, not at all. Because of Dr. Rios-Ellis' mentorship, inspiration and influence, I have created a vision of my future, more specifically, as a first-generation Latina seeking entry in a doctoral program. My research interests revolve around Latino health: culture, nutrition, physical activity, maternal and child health, and chronic disease prevention.

Thank you, Mara. Have a Happy Thanksgiving day and weekend with your family!

Bea

Chickpea "Noodle" Soup

I am just running out of ideas for dinner and sometimes I have to look recipes. This is what we had on Friday night: Chickpea "Noodle" Soup; I got this idea from the Vega Blog.

I didn't have all the ingredients the recipe called for, so I made added what I had:

Bake to 350 degrees for 40 minites

• 2 celery stalks (these were the last ones I had, that is why they are not green :/
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 3 cloves of garlic, minced
• 2 medium roma tomatoes
• A few leaves of parsley
• 1 inch ginger, minced
• (Instead of kale, I used) 4 leaves of rainbow chard and cut the stems
• 1 baked sweet potato cut into 1 inch pieces
• 1/2 baked butternut squash, then cut to pieces
• 2 cups of vegetable broth
• I was already cooking about 2 cups of garbanzo beans in another pot

 Directions: 

 1. Sautee onion, garlic, ginger, celery and add red pepper flakes (or chopped  jalapeno pepper)

2. Add chopped stems and cook for 1 and a half minutes; season with salt, pepper or lemon pepper (with already has salt and pepper :)

 3. Add vegetable broth, let it cook for 1-2 minutes, then add the sweet potato and butternut squash; add parsley

4. Turn down the heat and add copped rainbow chard leaves, cover for a minute until leaves wilt 

5. Add the chickpeas when you'd like (Mine had just cooked and they were steaming hot!)

Chickpea "Noodle" Soup is ready!

Oops, I forgot to add the tomatoes. We sprinkled some lemon juice to the soup and it tasted even better! You have to try this recipe--it's easy and quick to make! Bret and I loved it! 

The more plants I eat, the more plant-powered I become and more creative I get!  :)

Love,

Bea

Veggie Ground Rolls (with Collard Green Leaves)

What to make for dinner last night? So I got creative with what I had and this is what I came up with! Sure, I don't like processed food much, but when there is nothing to make for dinner, I just have to get creative. We had this in the fridge (it was all vegetables). We also had 5 green collard leaves, carrots, Brussels sprouts and broccoli...

1. I pre-heated the oven to 350 degrees

2. On medium heat, I sauteed 1/2 an onion for a minute

3. Coated it the baking pan with olive oil spray

3. Added the veggie ground to onion and cooked for 2-3 minutes-- but not too much.

4. After washing the collard green leaves well I cut out the stem, laid them flat and added the cooked veggie ground and rolled them up like enchiladas and set on the baking pan.

Baked these for 10-12 minutes!

 This was my dinner plate last night! Delicious.

The veggies are baked small Brussels sprouts cut in half, broccoli and a little bit of vegan butter and lemon pepper to taste. I've added the agave-glazed garlic carrots in a previous blog.

Love,

Bea

Enchiladas for Dinner Two Nights in a Row This Week!

I made enchiladas for dinner the night before last night and last night!

On Tuesday (11/13) before going to the Farmer's Market I went to Trader Joe's to get some ingredients I needed to make enchiladas. You'll see them in the picture below:

I really could have made my own ingredients right at home, but I ended up spending $12 : /

I use TJ's enchilada sauce--it's pretty good, but it has all these ingredients though, ugh. At least I can pronounce them and they are not too crazy.

Used 1/4 cup water, 1 cup of vegetable stock and added half of the enchilada sauce container and bright to a boil, then set aside

In a pan I grilled 1/2 an onion and 2 garlic cloves; 1/2 can the black beans; 1/2 cup roasted corn (frozen); 4 peeled tomatoes (canned); seasoned with lemon pepper. Oops, later I added 1/2 a chopped green bell pepper--I almost forgot

Heated pan for 2 minutes, then "fried" 7 corn tortillas (one at a time) with olive oil spray

Let the tortilla cool for a few seconds, then I placed 2 spoonfuls of the beans and veggies I had grilled and rolled it with love :)

I placed the enchiladas in my cake baking dish, LOL! I really need to get me something a little baking dish for food!

Poured the boiled sauce on the enchiladas making sure they were very wet

I had already pre-heated the oven to 350 degrees and I placed the enchiladas and baked for 15 minutes

Rainbow chard!

Separate the stems from the leaves and cut into pieces

Grilled 1/2 onion and 2 garlic cloves on medium heat for 1 minute, then added the chopped stems for 3 minutes

Cut the leaves in strips

After the stems cooked, threw in the chopped leaves, squeezed juice from 1 lemons, added 1/4 cup sunflower seeds, sprinkled lemon pepper and  and let it cook for 1-2 minutes!

We had enchiladas for dinner on Tuesday and Wednesday nights! They were so good, and the olives gave it a yummier taste!

We use Daiya "cheeze" to top the enchiladas

This was my dinner plate! ...I know, it doesn't look that appetizing...I think I need to work on my food presentation skills, need a better camera for taking pictures of my food and cook the veggies/greens a little less. Nevertheless it sure was a fun, filling and delicious dinner!

Hmmm... I wonder what I'll make for dinner tonight?

Love,

Bea

Venus with Biceps; Bea with Biceps; or Vegan with Muscles!

On Monday I went to Loyola Marymount University with Bret. While he was in class I was at the library. I like getting work done at the LMU library because I have no internet there and that means no electronic distractions; however, there is still a huge distraction: BOOKS! I love books and I want to read them all!

As I searched for a desk to work in, I walked down the aisles full of interesting books (about ecology, grad school, writing, Latin American history, psychology, teaching, feminism and so much more...). I was forcing myself not to pick a book up and just sit down and start writing. I felt like a kid at a candy store! Ahhh! :D

I couldn't resist it and I picked up a book that just caught my attention! It was called Venus With Biceps: A Pictorial History of Muscular Women by David L. Chapman and Patricia Vertinsky.

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Scanning and looking through the pictures of Venus With Biceps was awesome! Women have been involved in training with weights. building muscle and being strong and fit since forever! (We'll since the early 1900's). But it wasn't until the late 1970's that women's bodybuilding became popular. 

Over the years, women's bodybuilding has transformed drastically. Although it is accepted now in the world of fitness, to this day, it is still rejected by the mainstream culture. How so? Here are some intercepts from David L. Chapman, author of Venus with Biceps that I found very interesting and thought provoking:  

• "One of the driving forces for a woman to work out is to achieve mastery of one's own body." 

•  "Is a muscular woman still 'feminine'?  Are developed muscles only a domain of men?"

• "Physically powerful and heavily muscled women have always been upsetting to the status quo because they reversed the 'natural' dominance of the male."  

• "Feminists of a certain stripe have also been  deeply mistrustful of overly strong, firmly developed women. They harbor suspicions that female bodybuilders are either beauty queens in disguise or that women physique athletes are simply trying to become alternate and interior versions of men." 

Cameron Diaz has been thought of being 'too muscular'! Check out this video: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/cameron-diaz-women-toned-bad-internet-debates-muscular-14211390

"Can a woman's muscles cause her to detract her femine beauty???" Please! Ugh. 

I haven't told you, but lately I've asked myself how a feminist like me could be involved in bodybuilding and bikini competitions? Aren't I subjecting myself to male judgement of the female body? What would other feminists say about women in bodybuilding? Does it empower women, or are they just trying too hard too be strong?

On the question of my competing at three bikini/fitness shows-- some feminists might think I've gotten involved in beauty pageants. My response: Not at all. I've competed against myself only. I competed for many other reasons far from superficial ones (I will discuss this in a future blog).

Check this quote by the book author: "A beauty contestant is thought to be someone who has surrendered to male values; a physique contender, on the other hand is seen to make her own values and dare us to accept her as she is and wants to be."

After discussing my questions with Bret a couple of weeks days ago, I began to build some of my own answers:
1) I just want to be my best-self, the best woman I can be; I wanted to discover my physical and mental potential.
2) I wanted to improve my nutrition, fitness and overall health-- and guess what, competing exposed me to reaching my goals.
3) I like challenging the Hollywood idea that women should "look" a certain way to be sexy; I also like challenging the stereotypical idea that a Latina should be "voluptuous".

Felicia Romero is an IFBB Figure Pro of Mexican background. She has a stellar physique and has muscles that inspire me!

I confess I am intrigued by the philosophy and psychology of feminist women being strong, muscular who walk around the world with confidence. I think it's beautiful and empowering. Venus with Biceps sparked this interest of mine even more and I feel it is worth my time exploring it!

Love,

Bea


P.S. Here are the goodies I got at the farmer's market last night for just $8.25!:

1 bunch each: parsley, collard greens, rainbow chard, purple kale; 1 persimmon, 2 small avocados and one of the vendors gave me a free ginger root! :)