Mexican sweet bread and competition-prep!

Over the past several weeks I have made dramatic changes in my fitness and health. I have learned about my strengths and weaknesses. I have learned to admit those weaknesses and figure out steps I can realistically take improve.

I signed up for this bikini competition to see what I can achieve. If I never try, I will never know what I am capable of! I am ecstatic to think about how I will feel when I stand on that stage and the lights shining on me wearing nothing my a bikini and heels on! When I walk on the stage, I will be confident stutting my stuff at the audience and judges to see all my hard work! I have never done this or gone this far and that is why I am so happy to do it.

Life is about living it and loving it. This journey has taught me a great amount of thing about myself and about life. I realize that I can do anything I set my mind to. Although at times it is hard to say no to food -- I have learned that that is alright. This is the first time I do something like this, so I am still new to all of this. I don't have to be perfect. As long as I control ,y portions and my indulgences, I will be alright.

A couple of days ago I went to my parents' house to visit. I told myself I would not have sweet bread (which I always seem to give in to and have 1 bread piece too much) because I am so close to the competition that I want to eat as clean as clean means! So I decided not to think much of it and just go and visit. I've read that the more you try "not to think" about something, the more you think of it!

 ...But guess what, a few minutes in my mom and dad's I made myself a cup of cafe con leche and I started eating sweet bread! Ah! It was a conscious decision I made. I felt my tummy and I remembered my hard work at the gym that morning, but I did not put that bread down. I did not want to feel guilty any longer. I did not want to feel the responsibility to eating super clean or being on a contest-prep diet. I decided to eat and enjoy my bread and cafe con leche! After wards, and after drinking a few sips of my dad's sopa de letras con pollo and after feeling full and bloated. I stopped. I had eaten enough and was ready to move on and continue with my goals until competition day.

That evening after dinner I told Bret that I love sweet bread and I love preparing for a contest, but that I decided that sweet bread is something I do not intend to give up for now. Restricting myself to it only makes me feel guilty and sick! I will work on my portion control, however, but I plan to eat it :) Sweet bread and a cup of cafe con leche makes me happy. Yes, I call it "emotional eating". I admit it. My goal is to one day go to my parents' house and NOT have sweet bread when it is there. I need to work on my self-control and self-gratification when it comes to this. I know I will achieve it...but for now, I will eat it :)

Love,

Bea