Thoughts About Mini-B'

The week before last I thought I was pregnant -- but it was a false alarm.

I experienced sleepiness, weakness, hunger and bloat, symptoms of pregnancy. Honestly, I was ecstatic at the thought of possibly being pregnant and, of course, I was a little scared, too. 

Before I started doing more research on living a plant-based pregnancy, I told myself to stop assuming. "I am not there yet; I don't know if I'm pregnant. I am going to wait a few more days until I get my period. In the meantime, I'm going to focus on what I can do right now. If I miss it, then I'll take home pregnancy test. If I am, I'll seek medical care right away and my life will drastically change." 

One Saturday morning, Bret and I woke up finding ourselves having another "baby talk" in bed. This time it was much more serious. I realized that although Bret and I are not planning to have a baby soon, if the case was that we'd be expecting our little angel -- we will welcome, love and raise her/him to the best of our ability. I really feel Bret is with me 100% and know he will be the perfect father I envision my children having.

Bret and our nephew Anthony (7) holding "The Diary of a Wimpy Kid"

Our nephew Xavier (6) holding his "Famous People of Mexico" book!

Later that morning I asked him, "Do you think I'm thinking about a baby too much?"

"Yes," he told me. 

"Honestly, what does your gut tell you? Wait, before you tell me though, I want you to know that I trust my gut more than yours-- I just want to know what you are thinking and feeling."

"Honestly, babe, I don't think you're pregnant and I am not worried. But if you are, we'll know what to do." 

"Oh, okay, thanks for calming me down a little.... Well, we'll see," and I smiled.

 
I had lunch with my sister, Laura one afternoon and she also told me to wait a few more days before getting a pregnancy test, "Don't expect anything, just wait." As I said, I was excited at the though of having Mini-B' inside me, but I wasn't sure how I'd feel if the test came out negative. I wasn't exactly sure how I was feeling.

So I waited a few more days and sure enough, I got my period on time. With a smile I told Bret, "You're not a daddy yet, honey." I'll clarify that it's not that I was happy not being pregnant. I am just learning to take life situations as they come. Trying to live in the present and not expecting anything helps me not feel disappointed.

More than ever before I think about having a baby. I am not sure if it's because of my family's pressure (all of my siblings have kids and my parents tell me they want another grandchild), social pressures (of being a married woman in her 30's) or it's my biological clock ticking... Maybe it's all three.

Hanging out with my niece Sonia (5)

Bret doesn't think about this much...He is an only child and is parents have never made a comment about us having babies; he is also not worried about his "biological clock". It doesn't bother me at all that Bret is pretty laid back on this issue. He's expressed to me the way he feels and what he wants before he start a family. I accept him for who he is because I know he accepts me they way I am, think and validates what I want. As I said, he have had the "baby talk" several times and I am certain that Bret will be an amazing father.
 
Taking care of myself is crucial; it's my lifestyle. I rest assured that when our angelita/o is sent to us -- at any time -- my body will be the healthiest, fittest, purest environment possible for her/him to grow in. (Oh, by the way, I will also breastfeed 100% of the time, for as long as possible. When our baby is ready to  eat solids, we will start them off with green leafy vegetables! Check out this video of the cutest vegan 14 month-old baby ever!!! http://vimeo.com/52098927; Also read this post: http://sistahvegan.com/2012/10/24/spirulina-helps-me-poop-raising-my-babies-on-a-decolonizing-diet-inspired-by-queen-afua/.)

Meanwhile, Bret and I decided to focus on our marriage and be the best partners we can be. We aim to cultivate and nurture our relationship as much as possible. We both want to strengthen the foundation for the family we envision having one day. That day could be close or distant...Who knows, but I decide to live my life to the max today.

Love,

Bea

The 12 Symptoms of a Spiritual Awakening

Healthy Thursday:

 

I came across a blog post in Psychology Today, (one of my favorite sites, but now I can't find the link) that made me wonder, "could be getting closer to experiencing a Spiritual Awakening...?"

Someone, obviously, came up with and that person is unknown. Everyone seems to be writing about it, just Google it for yourself.

 Just looking at these signs makes me feel that I am on the right path. For the past months--couple of years, I've been working really hard to letting things go and let people be who they are. I've been working on being less judgmental and more accepting of myself. I've discovered that when I practice loving kindness to myself I am able to better treat others, be less judgmental and more accepting.

 

So how do we come closer to experiencing a Spiritual Awakening? Well, for starters, by following 'The 12 Stops' from the picture below can help guide us in the right direction.
 

 

Twelve things to work out at once seems like a lot, right? Try one thing on the list today, for the next 2 days or a whole week, then you can move forward to the next. 

So, what is stopping us from living and loving freely? The only barrier is: ourselves. Our mind is so powerful and it can take us to places we don't want. Likewise, when we learn to master it, our mind can take us to places we never imagined. Our mind is the creator of our habits. 

 

  I am talking about being self-aware. My definition of self-awareness is the ability to be in touch with our emotions, thoughts and behaviors and act accordingly. We all have the ability to do this, but it requires a lot of work. One has to work at it each day. Once you got it, once you get a sense of what that feels like you learn about your weaknesses, appreciate your strengths, find your passion(s), and know that what you give to the world is what you receive. 


The more I detach myself from my ego, the more I learn about myself and I love who I find (the real me). My self-awareness allows me to  connect with people at  deeper levels. It's so amazing. I love looking into people's eyes an see their beauty--both inner and outer-- and their tremendous potential. 

Life is a roller coaster of a journey. Some days are not good, but there are good things in every day -- or so the saying goes. Each day is an opportunity for us to be better than we were the day before, or even the last 5 minutes. Each day is a gift where we get a new opportunity to be our best selves. I just know that as I grow older I will be getting closer to that Spiritual Awakening.

 Love,

Bea

I have a Matron of Honor!

I have a Matron of Honor, my sister Laura! I had to tell her as soon as possible so yesterday Bret and I went to the Berlant's for dinner. She gladly accepted and we started to plan some more details for my wedding.

Laura has been incredibly helpful and supportive since the moment I told her that Bret and I got engaged. I felt she was genuinely happy for me and that meant SO much to me! Laura  was the one who planted the Marrying-in-Yosemite seed and my mind was fertile soil -- so now our wedding plans are in Yosemite National Park!




Since I was a little girl, Laura was my best girl friend -- and she continues to be. Although times were difficult and bittersweet growing up she always had a special place in my heart. We both have grown a great deal from our past experiences into the women we are today. Having her as my Matron of Honor is a great way for me to show not only my love and appreciation for her, but because she is a great representation of many, many of my personal values and beliefs about love, family, kindness, strength, persistence, hard work and resilience -- and so much more!!!

My sister has consistently been there for me and backing up every step of the way in everything that I do. (She even cooks healthy vegan meals for me and Bret!). I am thankful to God for giving me a new day and  new opportunities to work on strengthening my relationship with her. I think she and I make a great team! :)

Love,

Bea