We got a Vitamix Blender as a wedding gift!

 My mother in law got us a Vitamix as our weddign gift! I am so excited about making the best smoothies and other plant-based recipes!

 

In Health,

Bea

I need to FOCUS to get all of my s&*% done!

Since last April the progress on my thesis went downhill. In May I took a second part-time job which turned me into a full-time employee. Then when I realized- the last minute preparations for my wedding were infront of me. On July 21st I married my best friend and we were off to our honeymoon in Italy until August 3rd. On August 12th I had the 3rd seizure of my life which made me reflect on my life and health. I didn't drive for almost 2 weeks, my schedule was off and I felt down. I got lots of encouragement from Bret, my family and friends and I slowly picked myself up. Slowly I began to catch up with everything, but I still felt behind.

Just now, I feel that I am starting to catch up, but then I realize that I have MORE to add to my TO-DO list. The fall semester started yesterday at CSULB and I haven't signed up for my 1 thesis unit I need to keep my student status. This fall I am determined to finish my thesis and seek to get it published in the near future. I am getting back to the thesis research, writing, reading, analyzing, editing today. It's a journey, but I feel fortunate that I have a supporting team to get me through, that includes, Bret and my thesis advisors.

I have a long way to go, I have to take each day one thing at a time, one day at a time. I am keeping my eyes on the prize, finish that thesis, become a great writer, publish, get great scores on the GRE, apply and enter a doctoral program and then a doctoral degree--my dream. Each little step leads me to become the best applicant to doctoral programs applicant I can be. I need to stay focused. Just as when I prepare to be on stage wearing nothing but a bikini, 5-inch clear heels and in the best shape of my life, I am going to prepare all the little details to apply for my PhD or DrPH.

My mentor once told me, "Beatriz, every time your mind wonders off, tell yourself," as she used the hands as blinders on each side of her face, "Focus. Focus. Focus." I need to do that. Focus.

Love,

Bea

P.S. These are the foods that fuel me each day!

I have a green protein smoothie everyday post-workout!

Culver City Farmer Market's organic produce $15

Dinner! Spinach salad and ratatouille Bret made :)

For dessert we had watermelon wedges! No, that is not wine in the back, it's white vinegar.

I don't want to give more any more excuses...Am I ready for a new plan though?

You know, I just stopped counting the days after my birthday, you know the "Day #1, Day #2, etc.?" All I wanted to do this week was sleep enough, get my work done and have enough energy to have a good workout at the gym. Now that I've been coffee- and stimulant-free for almost 2 weeks, my workouts are as intense as I can only be. (But I confess they can be even more intense than I out effort into). This week I did not prepare any meals for lunch or dinner, but only my breakfast which consisted of mostly fruit an then a small bowl of oatmeal (1/4 - 1/3 cup, dry).

So, I want tro try this out: write a plan I can stick to fir the next 4 weeks. This plan will include daily meals, food that I will only eat and a fitness plan. My goal for the rest of the year should be to become leanner, toner, fitter, more flexible, faster, have more endurance. 

Once I have that plan, I will take a "before" picture of myself wearing a bikini, and not look at myself in a mirror for 4 weeks. Whoops, can I really do that?? I think that not looking at myself for a few days--and then looking at myself after my hard work, will deliver some great news when the time's up and I will see some great results! I must confess though that I am not ready to make that plan though.... I kinda had been feeling sad, depressed a few days ago because of what happened to me (seizure). Little by little, however, with the support of Bret, my family and friends, and the fact that I have not had a second seizure, I've been feeling a whole lot better.

Today, Saturday, the charla (intervention) at work was cancelled and I am a little bummed about that, but at the same time and I'm happy that I get these 6 hours today to work on my own stuff! This is a cliche, but I want to start my plan on Monday. I am 31 now, and I am not getting younger. I am 31 now, I a mature woman, I know what I want and I'm out to get it. No more excuses, I am not living to make excuses staying away from my dreams.

Health, Joy, Peace and Love,

Bea

Vegan Dinners on August 21st and 22nd

Day #3

5:50am - 2 cups of water with 1/2 squeezed lemon juice

• I was feeling nauseous about something, maybe it's because I didn't have enough sleep. 

6:40am - Bowl of fruit: 1 medium banana, 1 small plum, 2/3 cup strawberries, 1/2 mango chunks, pineapple, cantaloupe, and honeydew chunks

• The fruit made me feel better, I though it would.  

8:10am - 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1/2 scoop protein powder, 1 tsbp. flaxseeds

12:50pm - 2 small plums  and 1 small orange

1:30pm - Tender Greens (1/2 salad)

3:00pm - Tender Greens (1/2 salad)


7:15pm - quinoa, tortilla chips, spinach, tomatoes and for dessert I had 1/2 small cantaloupe

My Birthday and Vegan/ Vegetarian Potluck Party

Bret contacted my family and many of my friends to join us to celebrate my 31st birthday with a vegan/ vegetarian potluck. Here are some pictures of my special day:

Having all these lovely people-- my family and friends spend their evening with me on my birthday meant so much to me! After being depressed about my condition all that week, seeing so many happy faces, reign hugs and Happy Birthday wishes made me feel a whole lot better.

Love, Joy, Peace and Health,

Bea

Ugh...

So I tried to start off right, but it wasn't that great.

A little more than 2 hours after eating breakfast I got hungry and I dived in to the left-over Birthday carrot cake and vegan cake. I opened the refrigerator and I cut out a bite, then a second. The next thing I knew I was eating cake right out of the 'fridge. I ate almost a whole slice...a lot. Afterwards my tummy was NOT happy. It took me while to digest it.....

At 3:30pm - I added lettuce and spinach to a bowl and I added polenta and veggies and vegan lasagna to it. It was so filling an yummy!

Age: 31, Day #2

Hola!!!

I am so excited to be 31! I have so many plans, so many ambitions, goals and dreams! I am taking charge of mind, my actions and my life!

I am so excited to be the best me, the happier me, the more loving and kinder me, the healthiest me, the fittest me!

Today I started my day drinking 2 cups of warm water with 1/2 squeezed lemon juice. Forty-five minutes later I had breakfast, a plate full of (mostly organic) fruit: 1 medium banana, 2 small pears, 4 strawberries, 1 plum, pineapple and honeydew chunks.

1 hour after breakfast I had 2 more cups of water and then 2 more....I am starting to eat as raw as possible! I am cutting soy products out for 21 days and I'd like to try going raw for 21 days, but not sure about that one.

Tonight Bret and I are going to dinner with his father, Jim and wife, Denise.

Now back to work and cleaning!

Love,

Bea

Yesterday at 5pm Bret wasn't home yet and I imagined he was at school still grading papers so I send him an on-line text message (I don't have a phone right now). He immediately called me at the house. I asked him, "Babe, can you pick me up and take me to the gym?"

He told me he wasn't going to the gym because it was his day off and then he asked, "Don't you remember? I'm taking you out for for birthday...?"

"What?" I asked. I did not remember he told me about it. I do remember I said that I wanted no presents and taking me out to dinner would be enough, but I don't remember we said on August 17th.

Bret took me to a nice dinner at the Inn of the Seventh Ray, the same place where he proposed. It was such a wonderful feeling to know my husband always does these little things for me, he always remembers. It was such a fun surprise to suddenly get ready for my surprise birthday dinner with my one and only.

Happy 31st Birthday to Me!

Today I woke up at the sound of my home phone ringing.

I knew that it was my  mom and dad calling and a smile came to my face. I answered the phone and sure enough, it was my mom calling to say "Feliz Cumplea~nos, mija." She gave me some loving birthday wishes and played a birthday song from Las Jigerillas. The song was so beautiful and I smiled all throughout. I felt that my mother really meant each word in the song. My dad also spoke to me and wished me the best. I thnaked them both for givign me life and raising me.

Then I went backt o bed and Bret was semi-awake. He sang to me Las Ma~nanitas "...despierta mi amor despierta, mira que ya amanecio..." He is just so sweet, each year, he improved singing the song. he knows how to sing it perfectly now.

As we lied in bed I thought to myself, "Wow, I'm 31 now. 30 years old was a roller coaster - I had mostly ups though and towards the end I saw downs....But I am getting back up and I'm going to have ups!"

I was trying to quickly trying to make a list of all the things that I wanna do but it was too much. I told Bret that last night after finishing my work I started researching my condition and when I read and looked at pictures I freaked out and went to bed. I felt horrible and felt my life would change...It's scary, but I will make the best out of it.

My condition only motivates me now to be the best I can be. I want to do what I never really felt ready to do - because I am scared. I am scared to commit to something. So this is what I'm going to do:

1. I am going be the best doctoral applicant I can be. I am going to be assertive and I'm going to follow it through. No more screwing around, I'm ready to commit. I am going to get a nice job with the Latino community, improve my writing and reading skills, and seek to publish. I'm also going to STUDY hard and consistently to improve my GRE scores. In the fall of 2013, I''m applying to 5 or 6 doctoral programs in public health. I am ready for my dream career!
2. I am going to get in the best health and fitness of my life. I am ready to take my nutrition and fitness to the next level. I've always admired a Figure physique and now I want to pursue attaining one. I want to train for a figure figure and I will seek a vegan coach for that. Though I don't feel 100% sure of this (because I'm still scared) I am just going to do it. I can't control what is going on with my brain (in terms of my seizures and condition), but I can control my thoughts, be disciplined and I am going to pursue a Figure physique, because I CAN do this.
3. I am going to be sweetest, most loving, understanding person I can be. I will be the most loving, sweetest, kindest and supporting wife I can be. I will be a loving daughter, sister, aunt, friend and person. I will treat everyone with the unique kindness they deserve no matter what. This will only make me a stronger person at heart. 

These are just some of my ideas...Now I'm off to get my nails done at the salon! Later, I will have friends and family join me at our apartment for a vegan/vegetarian birthday potluck! Happy 31st birthday to me! 

Health, Joy, Peace and Love,

Bea

Low motivation and stamina, but I gotta pick myself up!

I've been having pretty low energy and low motivation as I go about my days. Although my work is progressing, it is going at a slower pace. If it were not for all these deadlines I would take another vacation. I would like to say, a vacation just to myself, but I think of Bret and how I'd love to be with him. He is my soul mate, my partner in life. I love him, I want to be with him.

I have not been motivated to workout. Since a week ago, I've only stepped into the gym 2 times (on Monday and today, Thursday)! On Monday I was so pissed at my seizure that I told myself, I'm working shoulders and not letting myself down. On Tuesday and Wednesday I could not get myself to think about the gym and I didn't go, I just did not want to...I had no motivation or stamina.

Today, Bret picked me up at home and we went together. I literally was dragging my feet. I warmed up 5 minutes on the treadmill and I was thinking, "I can do this!" Then as I walked upstairs it was hard to get my leg work out in. My body is just not used to the weights. It's crazy how one week of not working out your body can lose strength. I did some squats, plie squats, lunges, deadlifts and leg curls, but no cardio.

I feel better in terms of mood, I feel I am handling it better, but still kinda low. I need to pick myself up and go. I know I will be able to. I am using this situation as motivation to get me to do things in life, to go after and achieve my big goals and be the best person I can be. I will do it.

Health, Joy, Peace and Love,

Bea

These are sad days for me...

Today was not my best day. I worked from home today (PHNP -Job #2) and I slowly cleaned my house during my breaks. I need to have a clean work space to have organized thoughts.

 A person who has seizures is recommended not to drive. I somehow felt that my situation is quite different and I got the courage to pick up my keys and drive to work (CSULB Center for Latino Community Health - Job #1) today. As I drove I felt weird about it and my gut told me that maybe I shouldn't be driving, but I decided to drive anyway....

At work I spoke to one of my friend's who had epileptic as a child and she listened to me empathically. Talking with her I wanted to cry, but I just didn't want to seem weak so I held back the tears. She advised me that I shouldn't drive, at least for this next week. I spoke to my supervisor and she told me that it would be okay to take some time off or work from home this week or work from home.

At the end of the day as I drove home last night I felt nervous and I felt my head hurting a little. I don't know if I was imagining it or if it was real, but I took that as a sign that I should not be driving. Tomorrow I have a friend picking me up and driving us to school in my car and driving back. I will talk talk to my supervisor and bring back work tomorrow.

I just feel so sad. It's hard to describe why I feel sad. I guess it's because I know there is something in my brain that should not be there. I also wonder if that explains why I have not been so successful in school-- why I have a hard time learning complex material and sometimes easy material. I wonder if that's what prevented me from doing well, my lack of motivation and poor focus all these years.

Bret is now going to bed and has asked me to go to bed with him. I don't want to be here all alone feelign sorry for myself so I'm going to go lie down now. Good night.

Health, Joy, Peace and Love,

Bea

I had a seizure yesterday morning

Since we got home from our honeymoon I've been out of it. It's taking me a few days to get back to normal. I feel that I've lost my motivation and I want the pace of my life to slow down. Last week was a little difficult to get through and since I worked until 8pm in the weekdays my days were shorter and shorter.

Last weekend Bret and I went to Outside Lands in San Francisco (Friday-Sunday). Outside Lands is a series of mini-concerts from like 12pm-10pm in Golden Gate Park. We stayed at a CouchSurfing friend, Dave's apartment in the Mission neighborhood and took the bus to the concerts.

On Sunday (8/12) I woke up dazed and confused with an oxygen mask on my face inside an ambulance where Bret and a paramedic where by my side. "Babe, you had a seizure," Bret told me. As he said these words, I felt as if I had gone back through time. I did recognize Bret and I knew sometime in my past I had had a seizure, but nothing made sense to me at the moment.

In the ambulance I felt so scared and so sad I began to cry. Nothing was hurting, but I was so scared. After having a seizure I feel unsafe, scared and my head hurts tremendously. Bret was holding my hand all through out the ride to St. Luke's, this made me feel safer. I have no recollection of them moving me from the ambulance to the E.R. I just remember already being in the E.R., having some blood drawn and  the doctor meeting with me.

A little history about me: In the fall of 2000, My sister Lupe found me having a seizure in my room. She was so scared, screamed and my family called 911. I was lying on my bed when I woke up all dazed and confused in my room where there was a fireman asking me questions, like "What is your name, your birthday?" and so forth. They took me to Norwalk Community Hospital and the doctor checked me out. He said I had just passed out and sent me back home. That day I experienced the worst headache of my life and I was the most confused I had ever been. I was 19 years old that the time.

That night after getting home, I slept in my sister's bed thinking that it'd have a second seizure, and I was right. At 5am I woke up in my family's car already on my way to the Los Angeles County + USC hospital E.R. I was treated there and hospitalized for 2 days. I had a series of blood tests, a CAT scan and MRI, all which diagnosed me with epilepsy. My specific case is neurocystercosis, a medical condition where my brain had the remains of a parasite I consumed through eating uncooked pork as a child. 

So after being treated at LAC+USC, I was on anti-epileptic medication for 2 1/2 months. The medication made me fall into a huge depression, gave me headaches all the time and made me grow facial hair and rashes in my body so I decided to stop taking in. I was a 19 year-old, non-compliant girl. A month later, the doctor at LAC+USC told me I no longer needed to take the meds and got me off it (I had not told him I had already stopped taking it).

I had not had a seizure for 12 years....until yesterday morning. I have to go see a neurologist and have myself checked out to see what are the chances I get more seizures and if I have to be on medication.The triggers of seizures for people with epilepsy are: alcohol, lack of sleep, caffeine and stress. My life is changing in so many ways. My health is first and this means my lifestyle needs to improve in many ways. Yesterday's seizure is a wake-up call to live my life to the fullest and to live my life in loving kindness. What we do every day matters, and each action we go affects or benefits the body in countless ways. My body is so fragile, so beautiful, and so perfect. It is God's best creation. I will take care of it the way I never have in my almost 31 years of life.

Health, Joy, Peace and Love,

Bea